I love a good documentary, even more so if it’s a topic about genetic mutations, disfigurements, uncommon mental states or a tabu topic. Tonight, after an 11 hour workday and a grocery store trip with the worst possible cart, complete with 2 malformed wheels, I settled in for some PBS. I cannot recall the name of the documentary but it was about people on the Autistic spectrum or with Aspergers. One thing in particular that struck me was that several people interviewed touched on how they didn’t want to be “fixed.” That they liked who they were and that they were tired of people trying to “fix” them. 

I adore that for them. 

I can and do embrace my eccentricities but I would give almost anything if someone or something could “fix” my brain. I accept me, I accept that living with bipolar, OCD and anxiety is a part of my make up, just like I accept having short fingers. It doesn’t define me and I work around it, I do all the things I need to do to be a functional human being but fuck what I wouldn’t give to be rid of some of the weight and difficulty those things can and do bring. I don’t like to admit it but I DO want to be fixed. I’ll take one “normally” functioning brain please. 


*I am by no means saying that Autism and/or Aspergers is the same thing as BPD, OCD or anxiety. 


2 responses to “

  1. Because of wonderful things in my life I wouldn’t want to go back in time and live without bipolar, however, for the future I’d be first in line if they could “fix” my brain.

    • I think I’d go back and live without it. I’m pretty sure I’d be closer to where I’d like to be in life with a “properly” functioning brain and not having to work around all the lovely symptoms of BPD. I’d certainly have more time and money, for sure. 😉

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